A few disclaimers: The daughter pictured above mostly just hates math, which I have informed her in unavoidable. This is not a post supporting or not supporting the choice of homeschooling your child. This IS a post that is intended to amuse you and was written for strictly entertainment purposes. If you are amused, then please consider subscribing via email or reader and signing up to receive our newsletter.
No Student Desks
Instead of cold, hard plastic seats and a tiny wooden desktop, they are forced to spread out math manipulatives across the carpet and read history lessons cuddled up on an overstuffed couch.
No School Bus
It may be fun to ride two to a seat in the big cheese wagon but our kids wouldn’t know it. We make them suffer on rides to the library, co-op classes and field trips on heated leather seats with climate control.
No Cafeteria Food
I’m pretty sure they will be in therapy for the endless trauma caused by withholding the joys of bulk prepared baked ziti and greasy tater tots. I can’t imagine how many nutrients they are missing with all the fruits and veggies they are enjoying with lunch. (We’ll just ignore the numerous “brain food” snack sessions that happen at our “desks”)
No Sunrise Breakfasts
I have few school memories more fond to me than enjoying that cold pop-tart at the bus stop watching the sun rise. Not even fresh scrambled eggs and waffles can compare to that joy. My kids don’t know what they’re missing.
Every afternoon my kids sit on the front porch, watch the school bus drop off their friends, and then they wait……for those kids to finish their chores and homework so they can play. What a shame our chores get done after breakfast, and before our “homework”, giving us the entire afternoon to play.
Too Many Random Over Night Visits to Grandma’s House
“Fridays are for visiting Grandma, Mom!! Geesh!” It should be criminal to spend a random Tuesday night in the middle of January with your grandparents.
Never Left Alone
Last year, when our daughter’s starting having issues with math facts we stopped moving forward and focused on strengthening their weaknesses instead of bulldozing on through the textbook. They’d much rather be left alone, in the back of the classroom, with a blank stare on their face while the material is presented to the rest of the class.
All My Work is “Homework”
Just once, our kids would like to say “my homework is done.” But they can’t. Because all their work is “homework”.
No Back to School Shopping Frenzy
Okay, this is more of “why my mother-in-law doesn’t like us homeschooling”. From what I’ve been told, it’s not any fun to listen to all the other moms and grandmoms that get to go out and buy their little ones new school clothes and school supplies. I wasn’t aware that standing in Wal-Mart, with a blank stare burning a hole an “Official School Supply List” while you wonder why in the hookie hoo your kid has to take 3 bottles of hand sanitizer in to their first grade class, was such a thrill ride. Maybe next year I’ll pretend we go to public school just to feel the rush.
Their Lemonade Stand Business Gets No Traffic Monday Through Friday
*sigh* All the kids on our street, of legal lemonade-purchase age, are in public school. This means Monday through Friday our lemonade stand runs for nothing. Okay. It doesn’t. But that is only because I shut them down for lack of profit.
This post is a participation in the “10 in 10” link up with iHomeschool Network.
This blog hop is inspired by our dear friend and sister Angie of Many Little Blessings. We would love to have you join us during our ten week adventure. Please link up at Angie’s blog by clicking the image below.