Ba dum dum.
On a scale of 1 = “chill like Cheech and Chong” to 10 = “Full on Panic Attack”, I start most days at a 6. I spend coffee time trying to chill by planning the day in my head, praying, and reminding myself that all the stuff I fret over isn’t worth the fretting.
Most days, it works and I manage to cruise along bouncing between 3 and 6-ish.
There are super chill days where even the stressful things roll right off my back. I am the Queen if Crisis Management, boo-boos hold no power in my presence, and dinner practically makes itself.
Then there is today.
By noon, I was in my room crying. I just couldn’t stop. I knew to disengage from the kids and retreat to my room for a bit, because my reactions to simple things were irrational. Not dangerous, just disproportionate to the offense.
I should have seen it coming, and headed it off with my anxiety meds early. I don’t like that they make me sleepy, and they make me not care about stuff which means I’m not trying to take care of them either. Not taking care of things at all doesn’t work. Especially when it has been a busy week, filled with a lot of away-from-home activities.
Not taking meds, or getting the time I need to decompress, almost always leads to a crash and burn kind of day.
Here are a few ways my family can tell it’s one of those days:
- I say no before you even ask the question.
- A random tub of chocolate frosting appears in the fridge, but there are no cupcakes to be found.
- I’m wearing a hoodie, and the hood is up.
- I start doing the exact opposite of what I need to be doing. Crafting instead of chores, or chores instead of school.
- I talk about cutting my hair.
- The Mr. comes home to find bags of trash outside. It means I’ve been purging. Probably purging things I’ll regret tossing later.
- I have my headphones on and refuse to remove them, but talk to you anyway because there isn’t any music playing.
- I mention that I need to go take a bath, but they know I’ve already had one that day.
Do you ever get all wound up and can’t unwind? Do you have anxiety issues? My biggest tool to get calm is prayer and control (get something under control: the house, a task, etc.). How do you get calm?