“For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” – Matthew 18:20

Saturday, April 28th 2012, was the (in)courage (in)RL meetup around the world.  I signed up to host a local meetup way back in November of 2011 when I was still working off endorphins from attending The Relevant Conference (now Allume Social). I had pictured in my head having my small handful of local Twitter friends over for coffee and laughs. That wasn’t in God’s plan.

First one of my friends was blessed with a chance to go to the 2:1 Conference that same weekend. Then, I went to check the meetup page and found there were three women I didn’t know registered to come to MY house!

Then there was the weeks of drama that went on here during the time I should have been planning, inviting, and getting excited. My invites went out two weeks before the conference. My shopping? Done the night before.

I had one cancel their RSVP when I sent the invites out. I invited my sweet friend next door to come in her place. Then two more cancelled. As a mom of four I totally understand that things happen, priorities shift, and plans change.

My sad tweet was responded to by (in)courage :

Yes. All I needed was one more, and I still had three coming. It would be okay.

Then Saturday morning, one more had to cancel.

That meant my meetup would be myself, my neighbor, and a woman I had never met or tweeted with ever. Selfishly, I wanted to just cancel the whole thing. Rebecca could come over anytime and she already knew what to expect at my house. The new woman wouldn’t want to be here. I’m not that interesting. I’m a terribly host. It’s raining and now my kids are going to be home and INSIDE making kid noises and we won’t be able to hear the videos and she’ll probably think I’m weird like everyone else does…and….and…

If there was ever a moment I heard God tell me to kindly Shut Up it was right then.

“so really, all you need is one other lady ”

I was going to get my BFF and one other lady. And Jesus.

I had to stop and consciously trust that God had a purpose for making our group smaller, and more intimate.

There were simple gifts.

There was coffee and snacks.

There were crayons and colored pencils.

There were three women, in three different seasons.

There were three introverts, bravely stepping out in the rain to try one more time to make a connection.

Sometimes we just looked at each other. Because in the silence we knew we shared a hurt, a sadness, a love, a need, a faith, and a gratefulness that we took the time to show up.

I can not speak for the other ladies.

Saturday changed me. Like a seed breaking open under the soil, it may be a while before the change is visible to the world. The change is there. A part of my heart was mended. A secret garden was watered.

Thank you to the ladies of (in)courage, and thank you to Rebecca and Deborah, for showing up, for ignoring my mess and sharing their hearts.