Keeping it real people. I’m keeping it real.

For April, I earn a big #FAIL; but it’s okay.

It’s not about how many days you’re winning, it’s about winning the right ones.

Momma always said to pick your battles carefully. Lately I feel thrown into battles I did not start nor did I ask to join. I keep holding all these lost battles against myself despite being set up for failure from the start.

Almost every plan, thought, or idea I had for April fell apart. My attitude reached lows I hadn’t felt in a long time.

Even now, as I type, I want to crawl back in bed. I felt defeated before I woke up.

Psalm 55:22  Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken.

I’ve been trying to lay everything at the Lord’s feet and trusting that it will be okay. It has been, of course. Every day it all comes out okay, sometimes better than okay. I cry in bed over all the time I wasted that day worrying and waiting.

For The Awesome April Challenge…  I did cook a little more often thanks to a couple new Pampered Chef pieces. I did NOT exercise intentionally at all the entire month, not even when I was writing my “Exercising with Kids” series (which is also completely unfinished and will be unfinished for a long long time….  #bloggerfail). I did not memorize four verses. I barely remember the first one. What I do remember is where my favorite verse is in the Bible. Psalm 27:1. I’ll just be happy I know where to find the words when I need them.

For the Homeschool Hopscotch, those ten posts are still undone. I know I promised I’d write them, and maybe one day I can. But the anxiety of knowing they were looming over me brought me to tears. I had to just be okay with not finishing. Life happened. This real life is more important than any blog post.

I was given an opportunity to review Little Pilgrim’s Progress (psst…  LOVED it!) for The Homeschool Post. I was only two weeks late getting that posted. Ya’ll know I contribute to the Bright Ideas Press blog too? Yea, that was late also. I was also blessed with the chance to review Master Book’s new Big Book of Earth and Sky.  We have done some fun work using the book, but I’m late on getting my review up for you guys.

It’s coming, I promise…. because this is the coolest thing since their Big Book of History. I’m not swamped with work, I’m swamped with feelings of guilt and anxiety.

My kids are behind.

There is little peace in our house.

I never get a chance to catch my breath.

I’m mom, how dare I whine about needing time, I should accept what blessings I have and work without complaint.

The fatigue from my Sjogren’s is flaring.

Why are you using your Sjogren’s as an excuse.

The voices in my head are deafening sometimes.

On a happier note (because that’s how I like to leave things!), I am down to 210.6 pounds – a total of 20 lbs gone. I also bought myself a pretty cutesy vintage hair cute last weekend and then promptly let my husband dye it Lucious Raspberry. Yea, I’m not at my #PINKFTW goal yet, but sometimes a girl just needs a pick me up.

So dear readers and friends, I’m sorry I left you hanging. I’m sorry to break my promise to finish that series before blogging about anything else. Sometimes the only way to get up again is to put down the load you are trying to carry, and just move on.