The 2014 Confident Mom Weekly Household Planner

Turning the Page

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Seeing God in my life is pretty awesome. I don’t mean that in the “totally awesome” way, that watered down meaning of the word. I mean it as “full of awe”, so crazy cool that it brings tears to my eyes.

I know He is always there, and always is. There are just some times, when I know that if I had followed my head things would have been very different, and I look back and see how perfectly He had that planned out. Even if the plan made no sense up front.

It seemed completely ridiculous that I would do all the work involved in buying and managing The Homeschool Post only to sell it after just a year.

But that is what I have done. I am turning the page and beginning a new chapter.

I share a little of how I came to that decision in our announcement post this morning.

I still don’t quite understand why I needed to be there, or why I needed to leave, I just know it was time. I feel in my heart that God led me there and home; and I look forward to the amazing things He has in store for myself, Sara, and The Homeschool Post.

HSBA-Facebook-Cover

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I love to write. I love to write funny things. I love to write informative things. I love to write scary, sad, heartfelt things that show how pain in life doesn’t have to destroy you but can lead you to a deeper more intricately amazing you. Since taking on The Homeschool Post, I’ve been writing less and less. Managing a blog should not be all consuming. For many who run them, it isn’t. It’s a job, it is something that they do and then go about the rest of their day. For the first year, that’s what The Post was for me. Sometime around mid-December, it became all consuming. After my surgery, while I was having a run of emotional breakdowns, the thought crossed my mind that maybe I wasn’t supposed to be there anymore. I have found myself in similar situations in the past, and it has always been God pointing me to a different path. I thought it was the hormones and the meds making me wonky, so I hesitated. Hesitating with God is trying to tell you something brings grief y’all. February was rough on me. So the move was quick, full of prayer before, during and after. I am excited about Sara and for the future of The Homeschool Post.

I will write for The Post, something I haven’t actually done since I took over, and I will continue to write for Bright Ideas Press, as long as they will keep me.

I will come back to writing here. I can’t wait to get to know me again. I can’t wait to get back to sharing with each of you, again.

 

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Pardon me while I wipe my tears.

This post may contain affiliate links. Proceeds from affiliate links go towards the cost of hosting the blog and helps to support our homeschool books, supplies, and classes. Thank you in advance for your support! If you would like to read more about our affiliations please see our Disclosures page.

To anyone who has had the misfortune of being in my presence or even just chatting with me,

I’m sorry.

I can’t seem to stop crying over everything. EVERY. SINGLE. THING.

Happy songs. Cute commercials. Movies even though I already knew the ending.

My kids playing. My kids fighting.

Sam's sticky table smiley face.

My husband did an amazing job with the house and cooking while I was being forced to rest, yet every other moment I was sobbing over something.

I took a bubble bath twice in one day because I forgot I had taken the first one and bubble baths are my way of hiding when I need to just cry and get it over with.

I’m almost certain everyone in the house thinks I am mad at them, or that they have made me sad.

I know part of it is the fact that things did go okay while I was down. {what do you mean the world didn’t stop because I wasn’t handling things?}

I know part of it is the overwhelming backlog of work that needs to get done. {Mr. did a lot of things, but he can’t sew pajama monsters and we skipped school}

I was warned that anesthesia can cause residual crying. I read that surgery can cause crying, and specifically my surgery can cause crying, even though my ovaries are still around.

I don’t know if I’m just taking everything too personally, or if this is just a phase that will eventually fade away.  I mean, is this even normal? {hint: the Mr. says no, that I’m crazy and he loves me anyway}

Until it does, I am going to just keep my eye on Jesus and trust that what gets done gets done, what doesn’t didn’t matter, and if anybody really hated me they’d say it to my face.

Have you ever experienced increased emotions after a major medical situation?  Is it a normal thing?

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Unintentional Time Outs

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The unintentional time outs creep up on me.  The days start rolling one into another and then it is next week and no one understands why I’m stressed out and unable to do anything, even the easy things; but I can’t and it just keeps getting worse and I get more and more tired until….

I give in to it. I take a time out.

I decide, somewhere inside, that it’s okay that I haven’t been at my best.

I accept that while I had reasons for falling behind in the beginning, I have no good reason now, except that I needed to stop and regroup.

For the past week, dinners have been “meh” at best. Work … well, it just hasn’t existed, even when I tried. School created faces like this:

 

The only thing that brought joy, to any of us, was after 6:30pm. After mom gave up, and decided to just shut down and be present, even if it was just sitting on the couch.

If I can’t be awesome everywhere, I’ll just be awesome where it counts.

I cuddled. I watched {and paid attention}. I looked at pictures drawn for me {and paid attention}.

I held hands with the man who calls me Mrs. Baldwin {just because he noticed that it made me smile…every.time.he.said.it.}.

I learned how to just listen to music for the fun of it, again.

kids are great

I wish I could say I have been busy crafting glorious Christmas gifts, or volunteering and spreading Christmas cheer somewhere.

But I was home, hiding under my rock, with my woobee, just existing and loving my family.

I didn’t even read a good book or address Christmas cards.

It was unintentional, and the worst possible timing.

It was a time out, a very needed, and much appreciated-by-my-kids time out.

I felt certain the world would fall apart. Maybe it did, I wasn’t looking.

I guess, if the world couldn’t wait for me to focus on the most important things in my life, then maybe it was something I didn’t need to be a part of anyway.

I feel kind of mean and snooty saying that, but I decided in January 2013 that I would set boundaries, and this is one of them.

Sometimes, an unintentional timeout is needed.

For those who stuck around: thank you….

 

This post may contain affiliate links. Proceeds from affiliate links go towards the cost of hosting the blog and helps to support our homeschool books, supplies, and classes. Thank you in advance for your support! If you would like to read more about our affiliations please see our Disclosures page.

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