Well that crept up faster than I expected.
I know, shocks me too.
Not because I’m almost 40. I’m okay with that.
I remember when my mom turned 40. My entire childhood she made it clear that 40 was something to dread. I cautiously called her on her 40th birthday, expecting to find her depressed about her birthday. Instead she said the greatest thing ever. She said,
Heck no I’m not upset. I finally don’t have to be the “cool” mom anymore!
She laughed about how she no longer had to pretend to like our music, or our clothes, or anything else we thought was cool. She was excited about it. I hope next year, I can be as excited as she was that day.
I’m okay with turning 39, with being “almost 40”.
The retrospective and introspective thinking started last night. It trickled on throughout today, while I enjoyed kids and friends and family and cake. Lots of cake.
This past two years have been big for me, on the inside.
It took me this long, to know who I was.
It took me this many years, to understand my Faith, to speak about my Hope in Christ, and to be unapologetic about it.
It took me so many of these years, to understand and appreciate the gift of Motherhood.
It took me thirty-nine years, to learn how to say “I do this, and I do it well”, without immediately pointing out my imperfections before someone else could point them out.
It took almost four decades, for me to appreciate the skin I’m in. The dry skin, the pudgy skin, the wrinkled skin, the stretch marked skin, the soft skin, the rough skin, the thin skin, and dimply skin. I don’t necessarily like all of it, but each part of it tells a story about who I am, what I do, and where I am have been.
I want so badly, to curl up on the couch and be sad about how long it took for me to see my own worth. I refuse to waste more time.
Hi. I’m Lisa. I’m a follower of Jesus Christ. I’m lover to my husband. I’m a mother to my four children. I am a house cleaner, butt wiper, chef, accountant, pet wrangler, hooker (I’m talking crochet people!), knitter, seamstress in training, reader, writer, living room dancer, back row Baptist hymn singer, homeschooler and pathetic gardener.
I finally don’t feel like a little girl playing house.