This is part one, of a five-part series, on easing anxiety in students. Subscribe to Chaos Appreciation through your favorite reader or email and guarantee you don’t miss anything!

The anxious student

Ever have your child scratch out “Review” on their math worksheet and replace it with “Poop”? It seems my very bright ten-year old doesn’t care too much for the field of mathematics. I notice that almost every day we sit to do work, even basic review work, she will lay her head on the table and cry about how “she can’t do it”. I’ve noticed that most of the time she’s not even looking at the problem; it just looks long or complicated and she panics. I’ve also noticed that video games or board games that involve big, complicated math do not bother her at all. She excels. Then I noticed that she and her sister did all their work with less fuss when they were given an opportunity to fidget, twitch, tap, rock, or do another activity often used by adults for stress / anxiety relief. That is what gave birth to this series: Five ways to ease student anxiety. I’ll post each Monday and send out a full recap of all five posts in our newsletter.

Homemade Stress Balls

Stress balls have been around for a long time. I used to have a big pink one with a face on it. It sat on a black base and felt like it was filled with dough. It used to sit on my desk at work and forewarned others that saw me mushing and distorting it’s tiny little head.

This weekend we made our own. I had made some of these years ago and my family loved them.

Supplies

• Birdseed ( I recommend either not getting a mix with sunflower seeds or cracked corn or hiring my mom to sit and separate it – which I did* )
• Balloons – the only ones we had today were tiny ones, next time I’ll use regular sized balloons.
• Funnel
• Pencil (not pictured)

Directions

1. Blow up several balloons to stretch them out. DO NOT TIE THEM.
2. Put first balloon on the end of the funnel.
   
3. Holding the neck of the balloon, add birdseed to the funnel.
4. Take your pencil and use it to push the birdseed into the balloon. The balloon will stretch and hold the birdseed.
5. Push the pencil down into the balloon, stretching the balloon into a long ‘tube’, allowing you to find a piece of the neck with no birdseeds in it. Pinch, remove the pencil, remove the funnel and tie in a knot.
6. Take a second balloon, one that you stretched out previously, and stretch it over your filled balloon. Once you get one balloon inside another balloon you can blow up the second balloon, allowing the seed filled balloon to be moved around and laid near the bottom. Release the air, and tie. Cut off the end of the balloon (leaving the knot)
7. Repeat step 6 with a third balloon.
8. Squeeze

*No, I didn’t really hire my mom. I mean, she DID separate them but I didn’t pay her. She loves me and she enjoys doing things like that.

**Please ignore my horribly half painted nails. I never paint my nails. I was trying to “girl up” a bit and knew the were starting to look rough. We spent the weekend helping my mom move in to her new apartment and I didn’t have time (or energy) to fix them. But I will. Promise.

*** I’ve also seen these made with cornstarch or rice. I actually prefer the feel of the bird seeds squishing around.

Check out iHomeschoolNetwork to see other’s participating in The Homeschool Mother’s Journal

In my life this week…

This week, our sweet Mr. was out of town for work.  Instead of slacking off all week we managed to stay on top of our chores and were pleasantly surprised when he showed up a day early! I think even he was a bit surprised to see his home so tidy. We also tried to keep our excitement under control as we waited for the weekend when our Nanny (my mom) would move up here to live closer to us than she has been in over 18 years. No longer will I have to drive four hours to get a hug from mom. Just in time for Mother’s Day.

In our homeschool this week…

The annual tests arrived last week, so this week I had them practice review tests in their workbooks to get used to the types of problems they’ll face. We made bird feeders,

did puzzles,

created safari scenes with Model Magic,

created replicas from construction paper and packing tape,

rescued a cocoon

and finger painted. Actually, after that first go we did the finger painting again – with friends – seven kids total.

Helpful homeschooling tips or advice to share…

Don’t be afraid to offer a calculator. No, I didn’t let her use it for her work, but when she started melting down over how “I CAN’T DO THIS” thoughts I offered to let her check her work herself before I got it. When I mentioned she could use the calculator on my phone (secretly  practicing her calculator skills because I don’t need a kid that can’t use a cash register) she stopped whining and eagerly went back to work. I had her check her work with an orange pen (one of mine that they never get to use) so she could correct her work but I would know what she missed. She only missed one out of 32…. mom win right there. Kid win too.

I am inspired by…

This week I have been inspired by bad news… or maybe it was just no news. I have spent over a year suspecting our oldest daughters had difficulties (discussions had been had with doctors on topics of Asperger’s, NLVD, ADHD, anxiety, OCD…  no one would say for certain). We finally received the results and the news was good… nothing was wrong with them. Which is good, unless your brain immediately assumes the opposite of “nothing” is “my bad parenting”. I cried a lot. This week, knowing there was nothing to excuse their behaviors outside of what they were learning or reacting to at home, I calmed my voice, I listened, I responded, and I must say it’s been a pretty dang good week.

Places we’re going and people we’re seeing…

We didn’t go anywhere this week but we are excited to see Nanny (my mom) this weekend to help her move in!

My favorite thing this week was…

When my eldest daughter, the one that hates chores and ignores the section on “helpful things to do at home” on her responsibility chart, emptied the dishwasher when I asked her to put her laundry away. Seems she wanted help, because the pile looked like a lot and it overwhelmed her. She thought, on her own, that if she did one of my chores that it might free up a few minutes so that I could help her hang up her shirts. So we sat her bed and hung up shirts for a glorious 10 minutes of one on one time.

What’s working/not working for us…

Bedtime is still a struggle. Finding meals that everyone will eat is another stressor.

Questions/thoughts I have…

Bedtime routines like warm baths, singing or reading don’t settle my oldest. What can I do to help her settle down? I feel like I’ve tried everything.

Things I’m working on…

Focusing on family. Narrowing my online pursuits. Letting things go.

I’m reading…

Bible right now, the books I’m in the middle of have been put aside this week.

I’m cooking…

Shortly after Christmas, my sweet husband bought me my first purchased piece of cast iron cookware.

It’s a combo dutch oven / skillet. At first all I cooked was bacon and eggs in it but lately I’ve been putting the big part on the stove on med-high and getting it hot, adding a big spoon of coconut oil, throwing in frozen chicken, and putting the skillet/lid on top. When I peek in and hear it going good I turn it down and let it cook for about 45 minutes. NOM…. it was SO juicy!

Our girls won’t eat chicken if it has “green stuff” (seasoning) on it and plain chicken in the oven dries out. This… everyone ate.

I’m grateful for…

Jesus. Mr. coming home early. My mom moving closer. My neighbor who keeps my sanity in check. and coffee.

I’m praying for…

*sigh* I wish this list weren’t so long. My prayer journal page is filled with online friends who are sick, hurt, lost, sad or facing unimaginable events. Tonight I will pray for my kids. They need the mom I know is inside of me and not the one on the outside trying to do everything for everyone exactly the way “they” want it done. I will pray they forgive me for yesterday, hug me in the morning, and know in their hearts and in their heads that their momma loves them….like Jesus loves them.

Don’t forget to head over to iHomeschoolNetwork to check out the other journal posts!

Last weekend, I asked Mr. to pick up some air-dry clay for a fossils project I wanted to do with the kiddos. He picked up some Crayola Model Magic since the container said “air-dry” on the side and called it a successful shopping trip. I didn’t specify that I wanted the tub of white; and assuming it was all the same stuff I hugged him and set out the wax paper for the project.

This is NOT the same air-dry clay that you get in the big tub. If fact, it’s kind of weird. It might be my texture issues getting in the way but the Model Magic felt spongy. It felt as if I was playing with a plasma version of fun foam.

It was sticking to our fake fossils (sea shells) and took forever to dry. I didn’t complain too much though since the kids had a blast playing with it for over two hours and we scored a pretty awesome Safari Diorama you’ll get to see more of in tomorrow’s post!

Sneak Peak:

This week my YouVersion Bible Plan took me into Galatians. The epistles are shorter making my reading appear more productive. I had fallen behind but am happy to say that I am all caught up.

I really enjoyed doing the S.O.A.P. method last week so I’m going to write this post in the same format.

Scripture

How foolish can you be? After starting your Christian lives in the Spirit, why are you now trying to become perfect by your own human effort? –Galatians 3:3 NLT

Observation

I have spent all of my life working to be perfect, acceptable, and good enough. I know that there are events and people in my past that may have intensified my fear of rejection. Here it is, in my Bible, a verse showing me that I am not alone in my efforts to work for perfection. The fact is, I was born a sinner and the fear of someone finding out that I’m a sinner is a human emotion that may have been exaggerated by circumstances but the seedling of that emotion was with me at birth. It is with all of us at birth.

I read blogs and tweets, daily, of others working so hard to remind themselves that they don’t have to be perfect. Other blogger friends of mine rally around and remind each other that we all fall short and it is okay to not be perfect.

What if we all took a day, and remembered that we don’t have to work to be perfect. Christ did that for us already.

Application

A thought came to me today, as I tidied up my house for some last minute company. I will not lower my standards (homeschooling, housekeeping, appearance, etc.) to make you feel more comfortable; I WILL show you that sometimes I fall short of my standards, the world doesn’t end, it will be okay, because Jesus never asked me to be perfect. My efforts during my day should be at sharing the redeeming Grace of Jesus instead of making excuses for why I am less than the perfect mom, wife, teacher, and friend. I am, because God made me that way. Through Jesus, I am perfected.

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. – 2 Corinthians 12:9

Prayer

Dear Lord,

I overheard my daughters talking about how Jesus was “beat up” by the soldiers. I immediately felt the need to stop bathing the little ones and explain to my children that what Jesus experienced was way more than just a beating. Thank you for putting the words in my mouth for that conversation. Just enough detail for them to stop and get quiet and breathe in the intensity and seriousness of the crucifixion. “It wouldn’t be fair momma if I got in trouble for something someone else did.” She’s right. In this sinful world we would stomp our feet and cry out that it was “not fair”. Please, help me to stop taking the sacrifice my Savior made for me in vain anymore. Focus my eyes on Your expectations and not on the expectations of this world. I don’t want everyone to see a hard working mommy that is barely treading water. I want them to see You. Your Message. Your Grace. Jesus.

Amen

My friend Penny (of MeetPenny.com) is hosting a Facebook Party on Tuesday, May 15th at 8pm CST to discuss family nutrition, picky eaters and homeschooling. I’m pretty excited because I have three very picky eaters (four if you include myself) and I seem to be able to focus on school OR smart nutritious meal planning but not both.

So many great sponsors and prizes! Click over to her blog, Meet Penny and check them out!

Wait! First….  RSVP with this form first, and you will get a reminder email about the party and be entered to win a $20 Amazon gift card!

• Why is the moon called “the moon”? And why are cows called “cows”?
• While we’re at it why are their sixty seconds in a minute and sixty minutes in an hour?
• Why does Abby keep peeing on the floor in front of the toilet?
• Why did God put Josh’s junk on the outside and ours on the inside?
• Why did God decide to make the grass green?
• Why do we sometimes eat breakfast for dinner but never dinner for breakfast?
• Why can’t we go to Disney?
• Why don’t you ever listen to me? I totally know what I’m talking about!!!
• Why do I have allergies?
• Why are my eyes blue?
• Why doesn’t Sammy like to ride in the stinky car?
• Why do we have to keep our room clean?
• What does probably mean?
• Why are you getting red in the face?
• Why are your hands over your ears?
• Mom?
• Mom?
• MOM?

**Questions from ONE kid in less than 30 minutes, Today.**

She carries her watering can

with a smile across her face

Her curls bounce around

pudgy dirty cheeks

Squealing towards me

Delight in her steps

I prepare myself for

her excited request

“Water?” she will ask

and water will mean mud

I hold my breath as she starts to speak

“W..w…wanna see my worms momma?”

I’m linking up at Sam’s Noggin today for her Wednesday in The Word LinkUp:

Following the S.O.A.P. method of Bible Study:

Scripture

¹⁴ Now the body is not made up of one part but of many. ¹⁵ If the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. ¹⁶ And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. ¹⁷ If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? ¹⁸ But in fact God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. ¹⁹ If they were all one part, where would the body be? ²⁰ As it is, there are many parts, but one body. ~ 1 Corinthians 12: 14-20 NIV1984

Observation

I have heard sermons preached on this very piece of Scripture a dozen or more times. I even remember discussing it in a group Bible Study I participated in a few years ago. Two days ago this passage found it’s way in front of my eyes during my daily reading (a YouVersion Bible Reading Plan). My daughter interrupted me, causing me to go back and re-read the passage again. Then my son interrupted and I again had to go back to read the verses. It was on that final pass that fell the overwhelming sense that I really NEEDED to hear what was being said. God knows I have a fear of failure, of rejection. He also knows that in an attempt to fell included, good, special, wanted and needed I will assimilate whatever I see others around me finding success and joy in doing. It’s not that I can’t do what they are doing, or be what they are so happily being. The fact is I’m not supposed to be being you, I’m supposed to be being me. By being what God designed me to do (even if I can fill in for ‘you’ in a pinch) I will enjoy the sense of belonging to the whole, instead of just being a third eye, or sixth toe.

Application

What God has designed me for, whatever that purpose is, it is special, big, wonderful, and needed but not in a way that would please the world. It is important to He who made me. Before I tackle a new project or take off on some hair brained idea I need to stop and pray earnestly about whether this is in line with God’s plan and whether it is making the most use out of the gifts He gave me.

Prayer

Lord,

My insecurities and neurotic thoughts keep me reaching out for anything that might bring me into the “inner circle” of friends that I see chatting/tweeting/meeting around me. I need your Spirit everyday, to keep me focused on the only One where I already belong. I feel I know my gifts Lord, I am just too afraid of saying it out loud. Afraid I will be ridiculed. I would rather be ridiculed by those of this world than waste my time here doing nothing and miss out on eternity with you. Keep me from being a sixth toe in the body of Christ. You have already told me I am good enough, special enough, wanted, needed and loved. I pray that I will stop looking elsewhere for that which You have already given me.

Amen

My phone was out all weekend, and I never noticed. It had data at the house though our wifi, which may account for me not noticing since I don’t get that many phone calls.

I (the one that never wants to go outside) insisted suggested that we go spend some time at the park.

I didn’t even complain about having to push somebody on the swings or about all the snot nosed kids bullying my kids around on the playground.

I didn’t whine about the bugs or the fish or the dog poo (pick up after your pooch slacker!).

One thing I did notice… this face…

couldn’t care less what size momma’s jeans were.. she was just happy to be with momma. So many days I don’t take them out because I don’t like how I look in my clothes.

“For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” – Matthew 18:20

Saturday, April 28th 2012, was the (in)courage (in)RL meetup around the world.  I signed up to host a local meetup way back in November of 2011 when I was still working off endorphins from attending The Relevant Conference (now Allume Social). I had pictured in my head having my small handful of local Twitter friends over for coffee and laughs. That wasn’t in God’s plan.

First one of my friends was blessed with a chance to go to the 2:1 Conference that same weekend. Then, I went to check the meetup page and found there were three women I didn’t know registered to come to MY house!

Then there was the weeks of drama that went on here during the time I should have been planning, inviting, and getting excited. My invites went out two weeks before the conference. My shopping? Done the night before.

I had one cancel their RSVP when I sent the invites out. I invited my sweet friend next door to come in her place. Then two more cancelled. As a mom of four I totally understand that things happen, priorities shift, and plans change.

My sad tweet was responded to by (in)courage :

Yes. All I needed was one more, and I still had three coming. It would be okay.

Then Saturday morning, one more had to cancel.

That meant my meetup would be myself, my neighbor, and a woman I had never met or tweeted with ever. Selfishly, I wanted to just cancel the whole thing. Rebecca could come over anytime and she already knew what to expect at my house. The new woman wouldn’t want to be here. I’m not that interesting. I’m a terribly host. It’s raining and now my kids are going to be home and INSIDE making kid noises and we won’t be able to hear the videos and she’ll probably think I’m weird like everyone else does…and….and…

If there was ever a moment I heard God tell me to kindly Shut Up it was right then.

“so really, all you need is one other lady ”

I was going to get my BFF and one other lady. And Jesus.

I had to stop and consciously trust that God had a purpose for making our group smaller, and more intimate.

There were simple gifts.

There was coffee and snacks.

There were crayons and colored pencils.

There were three women, in three different seasons.

There were three introverts, bravely stepping out in the rain to try one more time to make a connection.

Sometimes we just looked at each other. Because in the silence we knew we shared a hurt, a sadness, a love, a need, a faith, and a gratefulness that we took the time to show up.

I can not speak for the other ladies.

Saturday changed me. Like a seed breaking open under the soil, it may be a while before the change is visible to the world. The change is there. A part of my heart was mended. A secret garden was watered.

Thank you to the ladies of (in)courage, and thank you to Rebecca and Deborah, for showing up, for ignoring my mess and sharing their hearts.