Ever pray, really really hard, and think God wasn’t listening?
I do it a lot. Then six months later, I look back and see that He was listening and He did answer, I just didn’t always see that it was the answer right away.
Two weeks ago, I was a mess. A hot mess. That by itself is pretty normal, but this time I was upset about something and couldn’t talk to anyone about it. I already knew what they would say, and quite frankly, I didn’t want to hear it. Any of it. And what I needed to say out loud was going to come out rude no matter how I worded it because I couldn’t find the right words to express what I was trying, and needing to say. <–that’s why there was no blog post about it.
And I still don’t want to talk about it. But….
I did pray about it. I prayed a lot.
Things kept getting crazier and more chaotic. We all came down with head colds. Softball schedules came in that made me want to cry.
Then my old Mommy Helper, recently turned 18, bumped into the us at Target. For good reasons, she was no longer living at home. She was staying with friends (friends who still lived with their parents), until they could get and apartment. We told her that before she slept in her car, she could call us. A week later, in the middle of stove installations and room renovations and school work and sports and a string of vet appointments and doctors appointments, she called us. She needed a roof for a week. **We knew right then that it would be more than a week.**
She had a friend drop her off last Sunday night. By Tuesday morning, I realized that this unexpected addition to our chaos was God’s wonderful answer to my prayers.
Obviously, the extra two hands around the house is helpful. She entertains the kids, she unloads the dishwasher, and she gently nudges them to clean up their rooms.
She also spends time having coffee with me and talking to me about being a homeschool graduate, and about being a teenage homeschooler. We talk about what she enjoyed about school, what curriculums she used, what she liked and what she hated. She let me quiz her on silly things that “homeschooled kids all know” and I feel guilty because mine don’t know them; and she laughed as she said “ya know, I’m pretty sure Momma taught me that, but heck if I remember.” She asks me for advice about living on her own, and sincerely listens as I lay out the realities for her.
I really can’t explain how her arrival has blessed me. Certainly, from outside, the taking in of another person in the middle of our mess would seem counterproductive to fixing the issues around here. Yet, it was exactly what we needed. I would have never thought to ask for her, but God knew that she was what we needed. He always has my back. He always provides an answer to our prayers. They just aren’t always answered the way we think they should be.