The 2014 Confident Mom Weekly Household Planner

The Anyway Girl

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The picture is already out there, so I might as well tell you. I got a tattoo this weekend.

My first tattoo.

I didn’t go small, or put it somewhere easy to hide.

I put my heart out there where everyone can see it and nobody gets it.

That’s okay. It’s takes a while to “get” me too. I’m a hard nut to crack but it pays to stick around and get to know me a little.

Let’s start with the quill pen. Seems a little logical to me, since I write things.

I’m still learning how to call myself a “writer” with confidence in my voice.

When I told Jason, the amazing artist who did my tattoo, he didn’t question me about it at all. I know that shouldn’t be shocking or even a thought that crosses my mind but do you know how many times “I am a writer.” gets the reply of “Really? Huh. What do you write?” or “Really? Where?”. It was so nice to have someone just say, “that sounds cool” and not question me as if they were trying to catch me in a lie.

The word, well that’s a bit more complicated, as it has several meanings.

Anyway

Last September, during a counseling session, my doc stopped me to say this:

 

“Your the girl who does it anyway. You forgive anyway. You love anyway. You help anyway. You dream anyway.  *long pause*  No matter what they do to you or say to you…… you move on and love them anyway. *longer pause*  I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who really did that.”

 

I remember being shocked. Not that he thought that of me, but that he didn’t think that of other people. Seems that is how we are supposed to be, as Disciples of Christ, right?

 

So my word became “anyway”, and as I rolled the idea around in my head that word came to mean even more.

They said you couldn’t or shouldn’t, well dream it anyway, Lisa.

You think no one will read it? Write it anyway, Lisa.

Kids want to play cars and dolls but you really want to get that laundry folded. Play anyway.

Don’t think you can make it to the top of Humpback Rock? Hike it anyway.

Every conversation turns into a competition. Converse with them anyway.

Worried you’ll be pitchy and they will all laugh at you? Sing anyway.

Think your daughter needs more grace and less time outs, but everyone says you’re just letting her slide? Parent her, your way, anyway.

Want to climb a mountain in a red dress with all your girlfriends, but your family thinks your crazy? Climb it anyway.

 

Life is short, time flies, and you never know what journey that other person is on so treat them with the love and grace you are being freely given by Jesus.

I’m far from perfect. I flip out. I growl under my breath at the idea of having to socialize sometimes. I bribe my children with a different activity to avoid playing. I leave the dishes in the sink overnight, a lot.

I need to be reminded, everyday, to do things ‘anyway’.

2014-03-04 11.21.15

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The Day I Wish I Didn’t Homeschool Anymore

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The Day I Wish I didn't homeschool anymore

Today is one of those days.

Not quite two weeks post surgery.

Teeth hurting. Not one, but several, because they should have been pulled a year ago but I fall apart at the idea of having partial dentures at 38 so I find excuses not to do it until it hurts so bad I can’t stand it. Until today, when I finally call and schedule the first appointment.

Deadlines due.

Dishes dirty.

dirty dishes

Laundry to fold.

Tears over math. Fists of fury over language arts.

How dare I suggest they read a book?

I’m hungry, but if I eat, they will see me and want to eat. That means fixing lunch (early) and it will be an hour before I can eat because I’m fixing them food first.

Three different songs playing in three different rooms. Laughter one second, crying the next. Somewhere in the mix, a 3yo in IronMan skivvies runs past, almost knocking me over, on his way to startle his sisters.

laundry and legos

Every part of me wonders what it would be like if I put them on a bus each morning. How much cleaner would my house be? How much work would I get done? Would I finally be able to read a real book? Would I finally have time to sew things for the kids?

Every part of me acknowledges that my reasons for giving up on our choice to homeschool are completely selfish, and I began crying.

I really don’t want them gone. I really don’t want to change the life I have.

I just wanted today to be different and I can’t seem to force it to go my way.

The harder I try, the worse I feel about it all going wrong.

Only, it’s not wrong. It’s just not my way today.

What needs to get done will get done.

What can wait, and needs to wait, will wait.

What they need to learn, they will learn.

I’ll learn something too, if I’ll stop fighting against the day long enough to pay attention.

Doodlebug’s Minecraft/Skype friend just taught her about the Netherlands. Another one told her about living in Ireland. The third one? He was telling her about London. They were discussing what time it was where everyone was at, and chatting about what each other’s mom (mum) was making for dinner.

friends in far away places

Bubbagirl was teaching Lil Man the first rhyme in her reading lessons. “A is the first letter we will say, a is the short vowel sound of A”.

Taderbug just made me a Lego car, complete with mom drinking coffee.

Those three things, were way cooler than anything I had planned for the day.

I think I’ll go make a cup of coffee, grab a book, watch my kids play Legos and thank God for planning me a pretty awesome day….even if it isn’t going my way.

be still

 

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Well, there went our uterus.

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Yep, it’s been evicted. It wasn’t helping anyone here anyway. If it did anything, it made me feel like poop and ruined a full week of my life every couple of weeks.

Since we were all done making babies of our own, the decision was pretty easy.

I did pretty good at prepping for the big day too!  I made mini books full of school work plans and notebooking pages.

Month's work of school workI bought groceries that would be easy to prepare and were inherently kid friendly.

I started getting rooms in order so the house wouldn’t swallow itself in my absence.

I started….  quietly panicky.

I was in total denial over the details of the procedure. Everyone who knows me knows exactly how I feel about doctors, especially doctors touching me, and double especially strange doctors {and others} touching me in areas …well.. in sensitive areas.

I also wasn’t sure how I would feel, how fast I would recover, and how the meds would make me feel.

I don’t mind a couple of glasses of wine, but full on out-of-my-gourd for days on end is not my idea of fun.

I prayed, and prayed and wanted so badly to share with you all about how NOT worried I was, despite my efforts to fret.

I just couldn’t get all worked up about it. I knew God had it, that it would be fine, and no matter how much my human head wanted to fret my heart wouldn’t have any part of it.

In the two weeks before my surgery, we had stomach bugs, cramps, budget issues, and homeschool woes. Nothing I had planned went as planned and I in the end, I just put up my hands.

Here are some of the funny and not so funny things I observed during my surgery experience:

  • When the anesthesiologist says, “You won’t care in 30 seconds”, he is probably overestimating how long your give-a-dern will still function. Mine lasted approximately 10 seconds.
  • When the anesthesiologist says, “I have to keep you awake for the spinal, but don’t worry, I’ll make sure you don’t remember any of it”, he really means “we are going to delete your memories from between to moments in time with such precision and effectiveness that you are going to wonder if all your Sci Fi fears are coming true and you will forever wonder if this has been done to you before.”
  • Amazing nurses with not-so-amazing bedside manners and a tendency to make judgmental comments about homeschooling should most definitely NOT be put on duty with a homeschool-loving mom under heavy medication but no lock on her mouth.
  • It’s shocking how the nurses and doctors will ignore you (unless you beep them of course) for HOURS on end during the daytime, but when night falls they stand outside your door and wait for you fall asleep so they can come wake you up for blood pressure checks and blood tests.
  • Some patients are painfully and unnecessarily high maintenance.
  • Pain meds are a lot of fun, until you stop taking them and realize how ridiculous you have sounded for the past three days.
  • You don’t really know how much something hurt, until the pain is gone. (Dear Uterus, You will NOT be missed. Thank you for your service. Buh-bye)
  • You don’t really know what your hubby can do until you shut up, take a nap, and let him do it.
  • Letting someone else be in charge, of the very things you have invested your life to take care of, is the hardest part.
  • There will be a couple of times in your life, when pooping becomes very, very important. This is one of those times.
  • Just because you think you are making sense, you probably sound like you left a few marbles at the hospital. This is almost guaranteed if you started your morning with Vicodin.
  • Few things are as blissful as a steaming hot bubble bath – alone.
  • When push comes to shove, what you thought mattered is the last thing you think about, and what you took for granted will be the first thing you cling to.

I’m pretty sure it’s time for me to curl up in bed and cry.

Not sure why I’m crying, but it seems to be coming on like rain in Florida. It doesn’t last long but it happens regularly.

 

This post may contain affiliate links. Proceeds from affiliate links go towards the cost of hosting the blog and helps to support our homeschool books, supplies, and classes. Thank you in advance for your support! If you would like to read more about our affiliations please see our Disclosures page.

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