I’ve hardly posted all summer. I have tons of drafts started, but no time to finish them. But, I miss you guys. I miss blogging. I post on Facebook because it is short thoughts. Quick and easy. Like crock pot cooking, which is a God-send lately.
So here I go, five minutes at the table, with the Playstation blaring in the background and the bird squawking until my head screams, spilling out my words.
School is going, not going well, not going bad, just going. I did manage to write something for The Homeschool Post on it. You can read it here: When Your Kid Hates Your New Curriculum.
My weekly therapy sessions had become more of a “this is what I did last week” and less like therapy, but lately….it’s been all therapy. My anxiety is on overload. I want to cancel all our groups and clubs and just hide inside. Seriously, who thinks kids (especially ones with siblings that have their own things to do) have time to do all this stuff?
I ate breakfast 20 minutes ago (it’s almost lunchtime), so I could take my meds. I still haven’t taken them. I’m going to pause and get them now, since I’m remembering.
Hunted down my cup, and took my meds. Even my anxiety meds. I hate them, but dude…it’s better than crying right?
See, I need to get an A+ y’all. I need my house to be tidy, and my kids to behave. I need to remember doctor appointments and go on playdates and remember to bring food to my sick friends.
But I don’t. I keep messing up, or falling short. Or worse, not even starting because I know it will not get completed or done to my satisfaction. Can’t fail if you just don’t try, right?
I have a plan to help me deal with my need to have everything just right. Hopefully, I can get it down in words soon, because I really want to share it with you. Until then, just know that nothing here is perfect, or even close to it. My blog isn’t called Chaos Appreciation for nothing folks.
I was at the Extraordinary Women’s Conference this past weekend, and it was amazing. I almost fell over laughing when Jeremy Camp was talking about his kids. He was sharing how each one was so different and he learned to pray for them each differently: that the one with the leader personality would be a great leader for God, and that is follower kid would be a great follower of Jesus, instead of the world. Then he talked about his son, the warrior. Oh boy, I have one of those. He’s going to be the end of my sanity. I’m trying hard to pray that he would grow to be a great warrior for God, instead of praying he would just sit down and be quiet and stop trying to being a superhero.
We are buying our house, the one we are renting. There is an urgency to it, because the owner is in a bit of pickle regarding the house. I’m a basket case over it. I’m exhausted from resending paperwork that we’ve sent 100 times already. I’m still nauseous from the appraiser having to take pictures of every room, and closets, to put IN the appraisal report. I just LOVE that everyone knows what my teens *disaster* area looks like on a daily basis. I’m nervous, because while everything looks good so far, it is still not a done deal. That lady isn’t singing until the end of October, so I have a lot more time to think about it.
Not all is bad and panicky:
My teen is learning to be responsible for most of the dishes. My newly double-digit aged Taderbug is learning to be responsible for washing and drying the laundry. The little ones are learning to take care of their own chores. My kitchen table has been clean and clear three times in the last week. It even has an Autumn centerpiece and tablecloth. I didn’t screw up too bad playing handbells for the first time at church last Sunday. Lil Man earned his Cubbies vest at Awanas. Despite my anxiety, life is good. I just need to stop and see it.